We get vested into controlling the things and times that are outside our of ability to impact.
We try so hard to control the little things. To control how people react or respond to certain things.
I was sent this piece by someone recently that sums up a lot - it was by Joe Torre of the Yankees.
”Control what you can, let go of the rest. When you control what you can, you know you’ve done everything possible to succeed. That means hard work, total commitment, painstaking preparation, and squeezing every ounce of ability from yourself.
When you let go of the rest, you stop torturing yourself over every defeat. (People in sports or business who assumer they have absolute control over their professional lives will doubt their abilities the moment things don’t work out as planned). Reality check: You don’t control all of the conditions that make it possible for you to be a winner. Every time you experience a failure ask yourself two sets of questions:
Did the failure involve some lapse of judgement, concentration, or hard work on my part? If so, how can I improve next time? Did the failure involve a factor over which I have no control? If so, can I recognise this and quit blaming myself?
Use the first set of questions to take responsibility for mistakes and learn from them. Use the second set of questions to identify areas where you have no control, and to stop wrestling with yourself over them. I recommend that as an executive, manager, or employee, you create your own lists of factors you can control and ones you cannot.”
This goes the same for Hockey, sports and life. You work hard, do your job and control the only thing you can.